The Seven Year Itch
by L3ftOfCent3r
Summary: Jacob was a 23-year-old virgin, trying to maintain a platonic relationship with his 5-foot-8, voluptuous, 7-year-old imprint, and it was driving him nuts! J/N J/L *ONE SHOT*


**A/N: Rated M for citrus and one implied lemon. I recently re-watched "The Seven Year Itch", with Marilyn Monroe, and it loosely inspired this fic. :)  
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**Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended.**

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Images flooded into my mind like a bathtub overflowing with water, drowning-out my own thoughts, but not my ability to gag!

_Her long pale legs disappeared under a pair of shorts that clung to her hips like a second skin and then tapered-off at her narrow waist. _

The sudden desire to press my hands into that gentle curve was overwhelming, and the desire to slide my hands up another woman's sides—to the swell of her breasts—was even more intense, yet, all-together...disturbing!

_Hers' are so much bigger than Bella's._

_JACOB! _I internally scolded, puffing out my wolf-cheeks as I fought off the urge to heave. _I would like to keep my lunch __**inside**__ of my stomach!_

Jacob was startled and his thoughts quickly turned sheepish.

_Sorry, Leah._ He apologized—truly sorry to have phased while one of his fantasies was running rampant through his mind.

I groaned and it came out as a growl.

_Suuurrre, you are._

With that, I quickly phased back to my human form, leaving Jacob to his own perverted thoughts. He was getting worse. Much worse! I had witnessed his struggles over the years to keep his mind from wandering-off in directions I shuddered to think about, but it was expected. He was a 23-year-old virgin, trying to maintain a platonic relationship with his 5-foot-8, voluptuous, 7-year-old imprint. I was careful not to ever bring up the "virgin" part, though. Jacob went-all-Alpha on the last moron who used that quip.

A long drawn-out sigh escaped my lungs as I pulled my clothes back on, and then ran my fingers threw my short, tangled hair. Images and emotions from Jacob's mind still left their remnants inside of me, and I swallowed with a cringe as if a bad taste was in my mouth. I didn't know how much longer Jacob could wait before he tried something that would put him in the doghouse with the Cullen's, but one thing was for damn sure...Jacob needed a girlfriend...badly!

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><p>.<p>

He invited her to one of our ceremonious-bonfire-gatherings and she had come—like she always did. She looked casual in her shorts and button-down top, but I was suspicious that her clothing labels would suggest otherwise. Renesmee Cullen didn't exactly shop at the local Wal-Mart...

"Hi, Leah!" she greeted me with a smile that could charm the pants off of anyone, and as I caught-sight of Jacob watching us from across the beach, I wondered if he was thinking of ways to charm the pants off of her.

I gave her a brief smile and then shot a pointed-finger in Jacob's general direction.

"Oh, LOOK!" I shouted, "Jacob's shirtless!"

I walked away quickly before Nessie gave me her "Oh, I'm not affected by things like that" look, but I knew better. I could still, vividly, remember the replay in Jacob's mind of the time she had been affected by it:

_She had brushed a long, wet strand of hair—soaked with rain—behind her ear before glancing up at him. He was staring off at the ocean as they sat on a driftwood log, but he could still feel her eyes on him. He could feel her eyes rake over him in a way they never had before. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he noticed this, and he looked at her, curiously. The look in her eyes, he discovered—as they roamed across his bare chest and then up to his face—were also filled with curiosity._

Curiosity, it seemed, didn't just kill cats, but also wolves. Jacob was dying! All this waiting around for his imprint to be more than just a little curious was killing him! I couldn't understand why he and Quil refused to date. It was ridiculous! Even **I **went on dates!

"Hey." Rachel Black came to a stop beside me as she nudged my shoulder, "He's hopeless, isn't he?"

I looked at her face and then followed the direction of her gaze; she was staring at her brother, Jacob.

"Yes," was my only reply as I observed him sitting by the bonfire.

His hand was wrapped around Nessie's, and Nessie stared transfixed at Billy Black as he told her one of our tribal legends. She absorbed every word that came from the elders mouth like a young child who was hungry for knowledge. Jacob, on the other hand—well—he was just plain hungry. His eyes carefully examined the side of his imprints face as if he was trying to memorize it to draw her portrait.

"_Poor Jacob,"_ I thought to myself, _"At least Quil's imprint still looks like a child."_

Later, when the bonfire had been reduced to a few glowing embers, I witnessed Nessie hug her chump-of-a-man goodbye. She wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on her toes as she pressed the expanse of her body into him. I had been inside Jacob's head long enough to know what he must have been thinking, and as he lightly patted her back—I knew it was pure torment for him. I wondered, then, if the 7-year-old, vampire-human-hybrid knew what she was doing to Jacob, or was she actually unaware? Either way, I didn't know how much more of it Jacob could handle...

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Quil and I walked side-by side through the woods, dodging past trees and making our own trail. We weren't each other's favorite people, but we shared a common interest: Jacob.

"He hasn't had any action since 'you-know-who', and even then, well...we all know what a train wreck that was!"

Quil hummed his agreement and I got the impression that he was only half-listening and that he wasn't as worried about Jacob as I was.

"I mean," I started again as I examined the side of his face, "What's YOUR secret? You don't date but you're not falling into trances anytime a girl passes you! What are you doing that he's not?"

Quil shrugged his shoulders, "Looking at porn?"

I stopped walking as I both cringed and contemplated his words. _But "porn" was normal, right?_ Much more normal than Jacob fantasizing about his 7-year-old imprint!

"Maybe," I started to suggest as I commenced to walking again, "Maybe you could lend him a Playboy magazine, or something."

Quil shook his head at me.

"Leah," he said as he turned around, "Nessie's his imprint, and even though she's only been alive 7 years, she's a full grown, HOT looking girl! Jacob's just being a guy! Besides," he shrugged his shoulders, "It's really not _that _bad."

I put my hands on my hips.

"Not _that_ bad," I mocked him, "Pfft! I bet you 20 bucks that Jacob's out there, right now, fantasizing about her, and if he's doing that crap even when he knows someone else could phase and hear it...ITS BAD!"

Quil's forehead wrinkled as he considered my words and then he looked up at my face.

"Alright," he agreed with a nod, "You're on!"

We went running-off in different directions then so that we could phase in privacy, and as soon as we did...we were assaulted with Jacob's thoughts...

_Her mouth left a trail of cool kisses down his neck as her lips made their way over to his shoulder. Her fingers lazily traced the indents of his muscles, making a trail from his abdomen to the spot where his skin disappeared under the waistband of his cutoffs. He felt a sharp pinch then as her teeth sunk into his shoulder, drawing blood, but he ignored the pain as his ears filled with her moans of pleasure._

_Wonder what sounds she'd make if my blood wasn't the only thing _filling_ her up..._

_EWWWWW! _Quil and I cringed simultaneously and Jacob's heart pounded with such a start that we could both feel it.

_Daaamn, Jake! _Quil cried as he thought of puppies and flowers and ice cream in the attempt to clear Jacob's images from his head. _Leah's right! You do need a girl!_

A combination of embarrassment and anger flared-up inside of Jacob as his thoughts turned on me. I could just imagine the hatred burning in the eyes of his human face, and I decided to phase back before he did. As I put my clothes back on I could hear the sounds of someone else phasing back to their bipedal form.

"Leah!"

It was Quil and I jogged towards the sound of his voice. A grimace was on his face as I approached him, and his chest was heaving as if he was out of breath.

"You were right!" he admitted a little breathlessly, "It IS bad!"

I nodded my head and then stuck-out my hand towards him.

"That'll be 20 bucks."

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I slapped 20 dollars on the table to pay for Seth and I's meal as we both stared at Jacob.

"Jake!" Seth called to our zoned-out Alpha who was sitting in the booth across from us, but Jacob ignored him.

"Jay-cub!" Seth tried again as he waved a hand in front of his face.

Jacob blinked then and focused his eyes on Seth, looking completely lost.

"Sorry—what?"

Seth shook his head at Jacob as I glanced over my shoulder to the spot that had held his attention for so long. Across the small cafe was a booth filled with girls. Forks' girls. White girls. Girls that weren't even very pretty.

"Man, what's wrong with you?" Seth asked, completely clueless as to what _was_ wrong with him.

I sighed as I glanced at my brother. It was both sweet and nauseating how innocently oblivious he was to certain things. Jacob was dealing was a bit of sexual frustration—that's what was wrong...

"Nothing's wrong," Jacob defended himself as his eyes quickly rose to meet my gaze before dropping to the tabletop, "I'm just tired."

"Suuurrre, you are," I taunted him as I crossed my arms over my chest.

Jacob's eyes shot me a dark look and then he gave a very convincing, very real, yawn. I rolled my eyes. _Anyone could make themselves yawn!_

"Bathroom break," Seth suddenly announced as he sprung from his seat.

I watched him walk away, past the other booths in front of us, and then my eyes settled on Jacob. He was lost again. It was like a fog had been cast over his eyes as he stared off at something over my shoulder, and I was willing to bet that there was some fantasy going on inside his head. I turned in my seat with my arm resting on the back of the booth so I could get a better look at the girls behind me. They were eating now, forking forkfuls of food into their mouths with their forks. I looked back at Jacob with narrowed eyes. _He had it bad!_

"Just walk over there and ask one of them out, already!" I nearly growled at him.

Jacob's head turned in my direction and his eyes seared into me, accusingly.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he asked, "You know that Nes—"

"Ooh! Please spare me the imprint-talk!" I spat as I slid across the booth to get out, "If you have to wait any longer for _that _girl to come around—You're probably going to do something stupid and Edward will neuter you!"

I stood up from the booth and Jacob rose to meet me. His fists were clenched at his sides and I could feel the hostility rolling off of him as he towered over me, glaring into my eyes. I glared back. My lips pursing defiantly as I dared him to try and make a scene in a public place. Jacob's hard expression suddenly softened, and his gaze turned from glaring to searching, and finally...to sweltering? He took an advancing step toward me then, getting this look of longing in his eyes that made me uncomfortable and I got the distinct impression that he wanted to kiss me!

"Whoa!" Seth said as he came up beside us, "Chill out, guys!"

Jacob took a step back at Seth's words and then he looked around at the staring customers. My eyes didn't leave Jacob, though. He was worse-off than I thought! A few years of being a babysitter and 7 years of playing the "best friends" had apparently scrambled Jacob's brain! He was so desperate for a girl that, now, even **I** was appealing! I shook my head and then turned to walk away. It was really sad how much imprinting could screw-up a man.

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There was a knock on the front door, and sensing that it was one of my pack brothers, I waited for someone else to answer it. But, after another knock, I remembered that no one else was home.

"HOLD ON!" I yelled as I marched out of my bedroom towards the unwanted guest.

"WHAT?" was my greeting as I jerked open the door.

Jacob stood before me, wearing a t-shirt and a pathetic, helpless look on his face.

"I'm sorry, Leah," he apologized, sincerely, "I've been—"

"Repressed." I finished his sentence for him as I nodded my head, knowingly.

"I get it," I said, "Seven years of spending every waking hour with your child-imprint doesn't leave much time for chasing babes," I paused once I realized the double meaning of the word _babes_, "Unless you're chasing Nessie...that is."

I noted how Jacob's expression changed just from hearing her name. I rolled my eyes, but it didn't faze him.

"Can I come in?" he asked and my automatic response was to say 'no', but then I noticed the dark circles under his eyes and felt sorry for him.

"When's the last time you slept?" I asked as I moved out of the way for him to enter.

Jacob shrugged his shoulders as I turned to close the door and when I turned back I found him staring at me with lonely puppy dog eyes.

"Snap out of it, already!" I shouted as I shoved him aside and then walked into the living room, "You're not helping yourself by just waiting-around until _she_ grows up!"

I put my hands on my hips as I turned around to face him. His hands were in his pockets as he walked over towards me.

"There's not much I can do," he said as he looked at me with tired eyes, "She's my imprint. She's always going to be the most important person to me. It wouldn't be fair to another girl."

"Blah, blah, blah, blah, BLAH!" I spat at him and his eyes narrowed.

"You don't have to _marry_ the girl, Jacob! You don't even have to see the girl more than once! Just pick a girl! Any girl! And—"

His big hands seized my face, planting his hot lips on mine as his mouth tried to coax a reaction out of me. When I made no reaction, Jacob's eyes opened and saw that my surprised eyes were as big as saucers!

"Oh, shit!" Jacob cursed as he pulled away from me, making me realize that his kiss was, actually, sort-of nice, "I'm sorry, Leah! I shouldn't have...Ness—"

Before he used his imprint, again, as an excuse to stay away from other girls, I grabbed his shirt and pulled him against me, pressing my lips to his and then throwing my arms around his neck. I could feel Jacob's hands instantly cling to my back, pulling me tighter against him until the soft parts of my body molded into the hard parts of his. His mouth moved hungrily against mine, as was expected, but his hands didn't roam, his hands didn't explore! Here he was, with a girl in his arms, and he didn't know what to do with one!

"Jacob," I said breathlessly as I broke from our kiss, "You're doing it wrong!"

"Huh?" was all he managed to say before I reached around and readjusted his hands so that his thumb crossed the swell of my breast, while the other hand was cupping my butt.

A deep guttural moan bellowed from within his chest as his lips pressed hotly to mine and his hands came alive. His grip was firm and strong and he squeezed me in just the right way until a moan escaped my own lips. The sound must have been like fuel to a flame in Jacob's ears, because a moment later, the hand cupping my butt, slid down to my thigh and then raised my leg up until it was hitched around his hip. I found my back pressed against a wall, then, as Jacob's hips thrust into me until I no longer cared why I was letting Jacob Black work-out his sexual frustrations on me. I gripped at his shirt as I grinded on his hip with the same fervor that he kissed my mouth. Jacob surprisingly moaned my name against my lips, not Nessie's, and then, I realized as his shirt was fisted in my hand that I had to get him out of his clothes.

"Come on," I breathed as I pulled him by his shirt out of the living room.

Jacob followed obediently, kissing me as we stumbled down the hallway and then into my room. I used Jacob's back to slam my bedroom door shut before I ripped off his clothes...

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My hands gripped the sheet that I had pulled up to my chest and my bare back was pressed against the headboard. I stared-off at nothing in particular as Jacob wallowed in remorse beside me. He sat at the edge of the bed with the sheet just barely draped across his lap as he laid his head in his hands. I glanced over at him, noticing the unnatural looking-way that his back was bent as he leaned forward. I groaned. I felt like throwing a pillow at him.

"Geez, Jacob! It wasn't _that_ bad!"

Jacob shook his head as he griped it in his hands and then slid a knee back onto the bed so he could face me.

"No," he said as stared into my eyes with guilty looking ones, "It was great, but it was wrong. You're my Beta and—"

"Shhhhh." I hushed him as I pressed a finger to his lips, "Things have been weird since the moment I first phased and all of you guys had to share your thoughts with a girl. Any extra weirdness that _this_ might cause—will be no big deal! We're good with weird, don't you think?"

The expression on Jacob's face told me that he didn't think we were "good with weird".

"But, Leah," he said as he reached out a hand to touch my cheek, "We can't be together. I have an imprint and I don't want to hurt you."

I had to bite my lip to keep myself from laughing as I stared at Jacob, but never-the-less, a burst of laughter shook me, causing the entire bed to vibrate. Jacob wasn't amused.

"Ah, don't be such a clingy virgin!" I teased him, "I have ZERO interest in guys who have the ability to **imprint**, or didn't you know that?"

Jacob looked down at the sheets and then shrugged his shoulders as if he really, didn't know. I rolled my eyes.

"In one word," I grumbled and Jacob looked up to hear what the one word was, "Sam."

Understanding registered on his face then and I reached out a hand to reassuringly clasp his shoulder.

"So, how do you feel?" I asked him as a smile curved-up my lips, "You don't look quite as pathetic as you did when you first showed up."

Jacob smirked and then took in a deep breath as he laid back on the bed with his fingers laced behind his head.

"I feel," he paused as he tried to think-up a word, "free. I feel free."

I laughed at that and he shot me a winning grin.

"Good," I replied and then quickly pulled my sheet away from him, "And now, could you get the hell out of my room?"

Jacob gawked at me.

"Damn!" he cried as sat up in the bed, "I didn't take you for a 'hit and run' kind of girl!"

"Technically," I added, "You're the one who should **run**, or didn't you just hear that car pull-up in the driveway?"

Jacob's eyes got wide.

"Sue!"

The springs in my mattress bounced back as Jacob leaped up from my bed. I watched in amusement as he then searched the floor for what remained of his clothes. He then stared at me a moment too long before sneaking out of my room and I couldn't help but to wonder how long it would take before he went back to over-fantasizing about Renesmee.

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><p>.<p>

Two weeks later and all was good. I hadn't witnessed a single disgusting fantasy about Jacob's WAY-underage imprint. He had also stopped acting so weird when we was around other girls, and I felt proud that** I **had sort of been the one responsible for those changes. _Jacob was a new man! _I laughed at my own thoughts before wiggling out of my clothes and then phasing on to all-fours. Images and emotions quickly flowed into my mind. They were so raw and so real that the happiness that they brought to their owner felt like my own happiness.

_Her lips pressed to his just once. It was the lightest and most innocent of kisses, but it held so much promise. As she pulled away, a brilliant smile formed on her beautiful, pale face and her eyes twinkled in a way he had never seen before._

This was not just another fantasy, and even though, the thought of her being only 7 still made me feel queasy...I was happy for Jacob.

_Her parents don't know yet. _His thoughts were filled with amusement and excitement at a possible confrontation with Edward Cullen.

I mentally gave an eye roll.

_Don't worry about that. _I said. _Edward's probably reading her mind as we speak, and counting all the different ways that he could kill you._

Jacob laughed.

_Probably._

We were silent for a moment as our heads still buzzed with the happiness and amusement that this newest development had brought. But then, like it often did, when we were all alone—our thoughts turned to each other and we thought about that crazy, heated moment of passion we had shared. Jacob's thoughts opened up to me then, and he confessed that he didn't know how much longer he could have held-back before he "jumped Nessie's bones"...so-to-speak.

_I had your number all along!_ I said as I remembered witnessing the deterioration of Jacob's patience at the start.

Jacob's thought were appreciative as he thought about me. He painted a picture of me in his mind as some kind of goddess-like saint, and I scoffed at it.

_Seriously! _He said to the derision in my mind. _Thank you, Leah. Thanks for everything._

I felt that if it hadn't been for me being in wolf-form—my cheeks would've turned red. Jacob was thanking me for sex and it was the most sincerest appreciation I had ever know. I mentally rolled my eyes at him.

_Sure._ I said as I thought back on the past 7 years. _I'm glad that I could scratch that itch for you._

_._


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